Music and wrestling go hand in hand; whenever I see a man in spandex, it just makes me want to sing, and I’m sure you’re exactly the same. But what are the best songs about wrestling I hear you ask? Well, what a coincidence, I have a list of the top five best songs about wrestling right here for you, you lucky thing.
(Just to clarify, this is not a list of the best entrance music or music used in some kind of wrestling format, that’s for another list.)
- The Crusher by The Cramps (Cover)
In 1964, The Novas wrote a strange little song about a wrestler known simply as ‘The Crusher’. In 1981, The Cramps did a much better version of it.
It’s the shortest entry on our list, and possibly the strangest also, yet once it invades your ears, you’ll be telling yourself to “do the hammerlock” all day long.
- Ric Flair by Killer Mike
You’d be surprised how intelligent and well-spoken this rapper is for someone who has the word “killer” in his name.
Ric Flair rips the words of the dirtiest player in the game straight from his legendary promos during his heydays in WCW, and seamlessly mixes them with Killer Mike’s lyrics in one of the finest examples of sampling I’ve ever heard. It’s not catchy enough to get stuck in your head, yet you’ll find it hard to stop playing it again and again.
- No Mercy by Wrestling with Wregret
Now, this is technically about a video game, but it’s considered the greatest wrestling video game of all time by many so it still counts, right?
Well-known Youtuber Brian Zane (aka Wrestling with Wregret) celebrated the 15th anniversary of the release of WWF No Mercy for Nintendo 64 by dedicating an entire song to it. The tune itself is actually a cover of I Wish by Stevie Wonder, but by re-writing the lyrics to give praise to No Mercy’s amazing multiplayer and how awesome that menu music was, Zane created the most melodious song about 64-bit wrestling heaven that I’ve ever heard. In fact, I actually prefer it over the original these days.
- Wrestler by Does it Offend You, Yeah?
In the days of ECW, Paul Heyman was infamous for his motivational speeches; Pauly’s words could inspire the most broken, pissed-off, underpaid wrestler to go into that bingo hall in Philly, and destroy what was left of their body regardless of whether they were getting paid or not. Heyman is arguably the greatest talker in wrestling history, so clearly his golden words needed to be sampled on top of some pounding dance-punk music, right? No? Well, Does it Offend You, Yeah? did it anyway, and it’s glorious.
Wrestler samples the speech Paul Heyman gave to the ECW roster before their first PPV, which was featured in acclaimed wrestling documentary Beyond the Mat. It’s an absolute fantastic battle cry basically saying “Fuck you” to everyone that told them they couldn’t do it, and hearing his roaring words set to pulsing electro beats is heaven to me.
I understand that this song is not going to be to everyone’s taste, yet it makes the perfect motivational song for when you’re in the gym (not that I go there all too often), or for whenever you’re having one of those days, and you just need to scream out, “Fuck you, you’re wrong.”
Honourable Mentions –
Terry Punk by Peelander-Z – it’s a Japanese punk band repeatedly shouting “Terry Funk is a Terry Punk,” do I really need to elaborate on why that is fucking awesome?
Pay-Per-View by Ruff Ryders – this gets a mention purely for naming practically the entire WCW roster from the late 90s in one song. For a band that clearly can’t even spell their own name properly, that’s pretty impressive.
The Wrestler by Bruce Springsteen – I’ve never been a fan of The Boss, yet this emotional song used in the incredible 2008 film The Wrestler just tugs at my heartstrings – simply beautiful.
The Real McCoy by Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly – now this song probably won’t be many people’s cup of tea, and is certainly not Mr Cape’s best work by a long shot, but it’s kind of about wrestling, and it gets a mention because it has Austin Aries and Alex Shelley in the video, so at least that’s pretty cool.
- Foreign Object by The Mountain Goats
I guarantee this is the most-upbeat and infectiously catchy song about stabbing someone you will ever hear.
In 2015, The Mountain Goats released Beat the Champ, a concept album dedicated entirely to the territorial days of wrestling in the 1970s and 1980s that chronicled everything from the death of Bruiser Brody to the life of Bull Ramos. Beat the Champ is simply a masterpiece, and one of my favourite albums. This list could have been made up entirely of songs from this album, but that wouldn’t be very fair on everyone else now, would it?
Although The Legend of Chavo Guerrero is a very worthy contender, the honour of best song about wrestling has to go to Foreign Object. The song is sung from the viewpoint of a crafty heel that’s working the crowd, has a face pouring with blood, and is trying to beat his opponent by utilising one of the oldest staples of professional wrestling, the trusty foreign object.
As soon as you press play, you will instantly hear one of the most hauntingly catchy tunes of all time, and it will take over your life in the most wonderful way. Foreign Object quickly became one of my favourite songs, and I find myself singing about stabbing someone in their eye on a very regular basis.
Please give all of these songs a listen if you get the chance, they’re not just songs about wrestling, they’re great songs in general. And please, if you have any of your own suggestions for great songs about wrestling, I would love for you to let me know in a comment or by tweeting me at twitter.com/hairywrestling