Names, they’re pretty important, that’s why I’ve made a whole damn list about them just for you (you’re welcome). In the crazy world of wrestling, it’s important to get a name right; a bad name for your team, title, finisher, or even yourself could leave a sour taste in the mouths of the fans. But what are the worst names in the WWE? Keep reading to find out.
- Watch Yo’ Face
You know that scissors kick that Alicia Fox does sometimes? No? Well, it’s called Watch Yo’ Face, and it’s crap.
- White Noise
Okay Sheamus, we get it, you’re really white.
- Asuka Lock
*Actual script from an NXT creative meeting*
“Right, we need to come up with a name for this finisher.”
“Well, what’s her name and what’s the finisher?”
“Her name’s Asuka and the finisher is a submission. She locks…”
- Bada Boom Shakalaka
It doesn’t get more uncool that hearing Michael Cole, a 47 year old white guy, shouting “BADA BOOM SHAKALAKA!”
- The Rear View
It’s been said many times, Naomi is arguably the best female athlete in the WWE; so why is it with all of her ability that her finisher is what can only be described as a flying arse to the face? Imagine training for years to achieve your dream, and then having to lose after being knocked down by an airborne booty.
The Rear View is a terrible name that’s somehow nowhere near as horrendous as the move itself.
Back in 2008, I had a compilation video on my phone of all of the unbelievable feats of athleticism that the man then known as PAC was capable of, simply called, “WOW!” He was, and still is, one of the most incredible high-fliers I have ever witnessed (and he’s from Newcastle, about an hour away from where I live), so obviously when I found out he was going to WWE, I was ecstatic.
Originally, they named him Adrian Neville, not exactly intimidating or stylish, but it did the job. Once he made his Raw debut, he lost the “Adrian” and gained a cape. With his spectacular moveset, combined with his fancy new cape and an out-of-this-world entrance video, it was clear that WWE was portraying him as some kind of superhero, with the least hero-esque name imaginable.
Neville isn’t a name that conjures up images of a high-flying, cape-wielding superstar, Neville is that kid you went to school with that had asthma and shit himself on the bus home from a school trip once.
- The Code of Silence
Carmella is the self-proclaimed Princess of Staten Island; every aspect of her persona is feminine and fabulous, so what is her finisher called?
The Code of Silence.
The Code of Silence?
Is she a fucking mime?
Don’t get me wrong, The Code of Silence is a fantastic name for a finisher, however, for someone who refers to themself as a “princess”, and who has “fabulous” written all over their ring gear, it just doesn’t fit. Even with her recent heel turn, The Code of Silence is a far too serious and intimidating finisher name for the hottest chick in the ring.
- Universal Championship
Do I really need to throw my opinion into the sea of backlash this title got when it was announced? You’ve probably seen a thousand abusive tweets towards Raw’s newest, reddest belt, even Daniel Bryan has buried it in fantastic fashion, so I’ll keep this brief. The Universal Championship sounds like it was named by a petty child that was trying to one-up their friend, simple as that.
“My champion is the best in the world.”
“Well my champion is the best in the whole universe!”
Although the choice of universal champions so far have been absolutely superb with Finn Balor and Kevin Owens, the choice of name has been abysmal. What’s wrong with a good old World Heavyweight Championship?
- Smackdown Women’s and Tag Team Titles
When the brand split happened, it was obvious that new titles would have to be created for each brand, it’s just a shame that they have ridiculous names and are clearly designed by Crayola. Seriously, I think working in the WWE title design department must be the easiest job in the world.
Admittedly, the Universal Title does have a much sillier name, yet the Smackdown championships place higher on the list because their names alone completely undermine the importance and prestige of the belts. If you’re a WWE Women’s or Tag Team champion, you’re seen as the best in the entire company, whereas if you’re just a Smackdown Women’s or Tag Team champion, you’re only the best on your brand, thus the blue belts are always going to be seen as the secondary titles, no matter who holds them. Not only are they unimaginative names, they add no status or significance to the belts, and that’s the most important aspect of a championship.
All WWE had to do was take inspiration from the original brand split by naming one set of tag belts the WWE Tag Team Championships, and the other the World Tag Team Championships; nothing ground-breaking, but it works. As for the Smackdown Women’s Championship, I would suggest the Evolution Championship, since the WWE is so big on pushing their Women’s Evolution – just because a female is holding the title doesn’t mean a gender specific noun must be included in the name.
TM61. What the actual fuck?
For those who don’t know, TM61 are an NXT Tag Team, formally known as The Mighty Don’t Kneel (TMDK), one of the most unique and interesting team names I’ve ever heard. So when they came to WWE, and were subsequently re-branded, the pair clearly wanted to keep at least part of their previous identity intact, as we’ve seen in the past with the likes of Kevin Owens. However, “The Mighty” is no longer present; instead, we are left with a name that sounds like a component from a piece of flat-pack furniture, or a droid from the upcoming Star Wars film.
The thing about their name is that it has never actually been explained on NXT (from what I understand, T and M are the first letters of Thorne and Miller’s last names, and 61 is the dialling code for Australia). Besides, a team name shouldn’t have to be accompanied by a lengthy explanation, it needs to explain exactly who they are and what they’re about immediately – TM61 explains absolutely fuck all, in fact, it leaves me with more questions than answers.
TM61 is such a bewildering and robotic name that doesn’t roll off the tongue whatsoever, so much so that it could potentially hold them back significantly. It’s not memorable (at least not for the right reasons anyway), it’s not a name you can chant, and it’s not going to catch on easily.
TM61, aka The Will-O-Wisp (well done if you understand that reference), desperately need to have a change of identity, embrace their mightiness, and stop kneeling.
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